Episode 16:
Breaking the Silence: What We Were Never Taught About Intimacy
with Amy Furuyama, LMFT and AASECT-certified sex therapist
How do you talk about sex without shame?
Amy Furuyama, LMFT and AASECT-certified sex therapist, is on the podcast to talk about why sex feels so hard to talk about in many Asian communities – and how to change that without shame. Amy breaks down the cultural roots of silence, then shares practical tools for communicating desire, starting with self-knowledge and moving into teamwork with your partner. You’ll learn conversation scripts, how to reduce defensiveness, and a simple framework for understanding what turns you on (or shuts you down).
LISTEN OR WATCH NOW:
“Sex is not something we’re supposed to magically know – it’s something we learn, practice, and communicate about.”
Amy Furuyama
What you learn in this episode:
- Why sexual shame is so common for Asian women (purity narratives, silence, hypersexualization, history).
- How to start communicating about sex by first building comfort with your own body and desires.
- Practical ways to bring it up with a partner – timing, curiosity, and “putting it on a resource” (therapy/podcast/book).
- How couples can co-create a better sex life using “sexual brakes and accelerators” instead of blame.
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About the Guest
Amy Furuyama is a licensed therapist and AASCT-certified sex therapist based in Irvine, California. She helps individuals reduce sexual shame, reconnect with their bodies, and build confidence around desire and pleasure.
Growing up in the Korean community, sex was rarely discussed beyond risk and morality, leaving little space for conversations about autonomy, consent, or enjoyment. That silence – and its impact – led Amy to pursue sex therapy.
With over 15 years of experience as a social worker, Amy approaches her work as a form of resistance: helping clients unlearn harmful narratives and cultivate more compassionate, affirming relationships with their sexuality. Outside of therapy, she enjoys time with her husband and daughter, running, R&B, cozy coffee shops, and reading.
Connect with Amy:
IG: @therapywithamy
Resources
Hahm, H. C., Lahiff, M., & Barreto, R. M. (2006). Asian American adolescents’ first sexual intercourse: Gender and acculturation differences. Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health, 38(1), 28–36. Access here.
Kim, B., Cai, Y., & Aronowitz, T. (2020). How do acculturation, maternal connectedness, and mother–daughter sexual communication affect Asian American daughters’ sexual initiation? Asian/Pacific Island Nursing Journal, 5(1), 12–20. Access here.
Bridges, E. (2007). The sexual health of Asian American/Pacific Islander young women: Focus on assets. Advocates for Youth. Access here.
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